ghost of the sun
by porcelian-doll
Summary: She becomes convinced that Beck came from the sky, because how else could a human being have been so perfect? Oneshot. Cat/Beck Cat-centric


**First Victorious fanfic; go easy on me!  
It's my one-year anniversary on this site, so I figured I'd give a little present. Happy anniversary to me!  
Enjoy! Please review!**

ghost of the sun  
or, the regrets of cat valentine.  
by blake.

_I come from the stars  
I shoot down like one of them,  
Burning so fast and bright  
You might miss me if you blink..._

(-)

Beck Oliver dies at 11:04 PM on the night of April 7th. It was a Friday evening. The authorities say he was trying to cross the street on the corner of Dewhurst Place and 6th Avenue when a car, being driven by a drunk man, hurtled out of nowhere. Beck Oliver died instantly, they said. He felt no pain.

There was a girl there that night. She had red hair.

.

.

.

Cat Valentine walks down the halls of Hollywood Arts, Jade by her side. No one looks at her - they're too busy looking at _Jade_, the perfect girl who had the perfect boyfriend. Now he's dead.

They pitying looks, the "I'm _so_ sorry" whispers, and the murmuring that grows louder as they pass is reserved only for Jade. No one spares a second glance for Cat, and she's glad.

She wouldn't be able to take it.

( . )

As she sits in her room, she tries not to think about _him_, and fails miserably. She looks at all the pictures, haphazardly pinned to her corkboard, and remembers the night they went outside and picked flowers from frost, took pictures in their underwear, and laughed until their sides hurt. That was the first night she stayed in his little trailer, the night he stole her innocence away as she softly whimpered his name.

That was the night he said "don't tell Jade"; the night she promised to protect his secrets and believe his lies. He needed someone, and she needed him.

She doesn't like to think about it.

( . )

They had gone back to the beach one night, without JadeToriAndreRobbyTrina in tow. It was beautiful out, and they swam until their fingers were prunes. That night Cat dreamt salty words that swam away sideways, slow...

They were laying on the beach, in the sand, when Cat said, "We're star-gazers."

Beck looked amused. "What?"

"Stargazer, clay spinner, poem catcher, grass lover, dream weaver... I think we should have a title."

He smiled. "Okay, dream weaver. Whatever you say."

That was the night he rocked his hips against hers and mumbled something that sounded like _I love you._

The stars that night dip and swim, and she remembers that he didn't like titles.

She doesn't want to think about it.

( . )

She knows that without Beck, she's nothing.

Girls are either _Tori_s or _Jade_s; that is, they're perky, beautiful, and perfect, with boys falling all over them. If not that, then they're sinister, defensive, and brutal, but still beautiful in a twisted way. She falls into none of these categories and knows that she's lucky to be in a group that accepts her, but with Beck gone, there's no one to make _her_ feel beautiful.

She wishes she was dead.

( . )

Cat sits in her room, sobbing.

( . )

At Beck's funeral, she stands up to speak. Tori, of course, went first, and ranted on and on about how everyone _will miss him so much_ and _he was loved _and _he's in a better place now._ Bullshit. Cat goes up now, and begins.

_Hi, everyone, my name is Cat Valentine. I know all of you are here because you loved Beck, or you miss him, or something like that. Well, I do all of those things too. I'm standing up here today to talk about how much Beck meant to me, and how much we're all going to miss him._

She takes a deep breath.

_I loved Beck Oliver. He was one of my best friends. He was one of those people everyone admired. He could make everyone laugh. He liked to sing. He was in love with Jade West. He died tragically, and _- her voice cracks - _nothing will ever be the same without him._

She hurries down to her seat, tears streaming down her face. Although everything she said was true, the only things that really matter were _I love Beck Oliver_ and _he was in love with Jade West._

( . )

Jade stands up after her, and her speech is beautiful.

( . )

The next day at school, she and Jade are in the bathroom fixing their hair when Jade says suddenly, "what you said at the funeral was really nice."

Cat looks over and sees that Jade has tears in her eyes.

"Oh, well, thanks, I guess. I didn't really think about it too much. I just kind of... spoke from my heart." It's a Cat thing to say, but it's a lie: she sat in her room for hours, obsessing over every single syllable in the tiny paragraph of her "speech."

Jade has a little smile on her face, but it fades within seconds. She sighs. "Cat... I just..." Her voice is thick with tears. "I don't know how I'm gonna ever _live_ without him in my life." She starts sobbing, and Cat pats her back soothingly, knowing she feels the exact same way.

They sit down in the bathroom for what seems like hours, Jade crying hysterically. Cat murmurs things like _it's alright_ and _you're going to be okay_, because she honestly doesn't know what else to say. Finally, Jade quiets down, but doesn't quite stop crying completely. She takes a deep breath.

"I just... I just don't understand it, Cat. I mean, what was he _doing _that night? Didn't he look before he crossed the street? Why was he crossing the street anyway? What was the _point?_" Cat freezes. She know the answer to all her questions.

"And he was over at _Dewhurst Place?_ That's all the way across town! What was he _doing _there? I mean, that's where _you _live! Why would he be - " She pauses, and looks at Cat quizzically. "That's where _you_ live!" Her voice has gone from sad to sharp in seconds and suddenly she's standing, looking down at Cat.  
" That's where _you live_, you little _bitch! _Why was he at your house, you slut? I bet you guys were having fun together the night he _fucking DIED_!"

The last thing she remembers is Jade's fist flying awfully close to her head.

( . )

Cat stays out of school for a week, thanks to her black eye.

( . )

Her life is over. Jade won't speak to her. Tori is being cold too, because she's jealous that it was Cat that Beck was sleeping with and not _her._ Robby is too scared of Jade to do anything, and Andre is permanently on Tori's side for any issue.

Beck would've had her back. She knows it.

( . )

She becomes convinced that Beck came from the sky, because how else could a human being have been so perfect?

( . )

They had had a bet. Whoever could sing a high A longer would be the one who didn't have to run to the pizza place and get them dinner. Cat, being a natural soprano, won, of course, so Beck, being a good sport, said he would run across the street quickly to see if anyone was still open.

It was cold that night, almost 40 degrees. Beck could see his breath in the air and wondered why it wasn't summer already. His Keds, stomping on the ground, made loud and eerie noises against the cold, silent night. He looked back at the redhead who was peering at him from behind the bushes. He smiled and waved, and then began walking on the crosswalk.

He was almost across when a swerving SUV came flying out of thin air, driving every which way. He hurried across the street quickly, but because of those shots he and Cat had taken earlier, he stumbled a little bit and was unable to judge the distance properly. He remembers thinking that the car was entirely too close...

Everything goes black.

( . )

Beck Oliver returns to the sky.

.

.

.

_I come from the sky,  
Where the dawn begins  
The jingle of morning  
Look out on the horizon  
And you might see my face among the clouds..._

(-)

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